I am slowly sinking once more into an abyss, as depression takes over and feelings of helplessness persist. Tears of depression flow freely down my face, how I pray this disease could somehow be completely erased. Now, fully aware of all of the dreadful signs, wanting to let go, but afraid I will loose control of my mind. Sleeping very quietly, in the dark, upon my bed, unable to manage all of the thoughts racing through my head. Feeling useless and devoid of all self-esteem, any happiness, I hope for, seemingly comes only in dreams. Trying different medicines to help me through, hoping the latest prescription will make me feel good as new. Looking I see worry in a loved ones eyes, knowing they will hold me close to comfort if I should cry. What pain inside some of us must endure, aware for the depression there will never be a lasting cure. Sometimes unable to tell anyone the reasons, having been told it can change with the dark winter seasons. But there are times when the sunshine is bright, and those with depression continue to cry through the night. It doesn’t matter depressions medical name, everyone’s symptoms are not always completely the same. There is one comparison without mistake, tears of depression will cause everyone a lot of heartache. Affecting all cultures throughout history, it is not something from which even our children are free. Getting information and any help you can, will probably in some way help you to better understand. Every day a struggle if you’re depressed, times not wanting to bother eating, bath, nor get dressed. It is never attention we are longing to achieve, it is to have daily life different and the things we perceive. When you see a loved one slipping away, do what you can to get their doctor or someone to stay. Try to be close and lend a helping hand, having depression was never something they had planned. © Brenda Sparkman October 29, 2006

Midi: "Hope" by Margi Harrell
Used with Permission